What can I do to support him/her?

• Be patient. Give them time to decide to confide in you. You may have to start a conversation more than once before they start to speak about what’s going on.
• Be direct about your concerns. Say things like: ‘I’m worried about you because…’ or ‘I’m concerned about your safety…’
• Do not say negative things about their partner – as this may alienate them or make them feel ashamed so that they make no further disclosures.
• Do not advise them to leave or criticise them for staying. The decision to leave has to be made by them in their own time. It can take time for people to recognise they are being abused and then to decide what to do. They may be afraid of what their partner will do if they try to leave. They may have financial concerns or be worried about children. Reassure them that you are there for them whatever they decide.
• Reassure them that they are believed – too often people doubt initial disclosures of abuse
• Tell them that they are not responsible for another person’s behaviour and that the abuse is not their fault.
• Focus on supporting them and boosting their self esteem – remind them of their personal strengths.
• Help them to develop or maintain outside contacts.
• Encourage them to contact a local domestic violence organisation.